The Choice of the
Ayatollah H.E. Sayyed M. H. Fadlullah
Q Is the Muslim
woman given the freedom of choosing her future husband away from the
authority of the father?
A: In Islam, the father doesn't have
the authority to interfere in his adult children's-males or females -
decisions, especially in the case of marriage. Although many
reservations concerning the issue of the virgin are being raised on
the behalf of some Islamic jurisprudents, we believe that both adult
males and females possess the legal right to make their own personal
decisions. However, it is up to the person himself / herself to
consult the father if she/he wishes to. Nevertheless, all Islamic
jurisprudents agree on the point that the widowed or the divorced has
the absolute freedom to choose her own future partner.
The matter of obedience to parents,
which Islam calls for, shouldn't contradict with the benefits of the
children. If the son or daughter recognizes that this obedience to the
parents doesn't fit his/her ambitions, then he/she has the total right
to seek what benefits him/her. Thus, any person-male or female has the
legal right to get married to whom he/she sees his/her life with. As a
matter of fact, since obedience to parents is not an Islamic law, it
is just a case of taking care, protecting, and respecting our parents;
the above-mentioned behavior is not considered an act of disloyalty or
disobedience. The persons are supposed to be kind, helpful, and
patient to their parents nothing more.
Q: According to
this, is the contract of the virgin's marriage that has taken place
without the father's agreement, legal?
A: If we adopt the view that
necessities the presence of the father , then we have to say that the
virgin woman is prohibited from getting married without her father's
agreement, and in this case the marriage, if it happens, would be
illegal. However, some other Islamic jurisprudents, like Assayid Al-
Khouee, resort to what is called obligatory precaution to the case of
such marriage. They demand that the father should agree, or that the
man should divorce since the contact is not absolutely valid.
In the same sense, the view that
advocates the marriage of the virgin woman without the presence of
either her father or her grandfather is also a legal view and is
advocated by a number of scholars, and thus the marriage in their view
If the permission of marriage is not
subjected to the idea of loyalty, them why is the woman supposed to
ask her father's permission not her mother's knowing that the
emotional relation between the mother and her daughter is stronger
than that with the father?
It is probable that the father might
be more understanding to the personality of the proposed person that
the mother. However, we have already stated that the permission of
marriage is not a necessity neither from the father nor from the
mother. Therefore, both the father, and the mother meet in this point.
It is, in fact to the daughter's devotion to seek the permission if
she wishes to.
-What are the
qualities needed in a daughter or in a son to make her/him a decision
Both the son or the daughter Should
be mature enough to make their own decisions. They should be rational
and aware of what benefits them.
The Preferable qualities in a
What are the
preferable qualities, which Islam motivates the man or the woman to
find in the partner?
Islam necessities the presence of
both the religious and the moral traits upon choosing the future
partner. For instance, the Prophet(p.) once said: "If the
religious and the moral qualities exist in the proposed partner,
accept the proposal, otherwise it would turn out to be a greatest
corruption on earth." For more clarification, a man once
consulted the Prophet(p.) about the kind of the person he should get
married to. The Prophet(p.) advised: "The religious one."
Going deep into the word
"religious", we could understand that the mind, the heart,
and the body are inclusive. A religious or a pious person is known for
his commitment to his religious duties within himself and with others
as well. A pious person who is faithful and obedient to Allah knows
and respects his limits and the limits of others. Thus, the presence
of the religious element guarantees the success and the healthiness of
a marriage life.
In addition, Islam focuses on the
presence of the moral side in the process of choice to a partner. The
moral side is so essential in that it enriches the spiritual one. The
presence of both the moral and the spiritual empowers the relation and
strengthens it against any shaking trouble. These two elements help in
the compatibility of the partners yet they become more faithful, more
honest, and more merciful to each other. Islam concentrates on and
highlights the importance of the presence of the moral side for the
moral side for the success of any human relation not only the
The Prophet(p.) said: "I have
been commissioned to perfect the best of morals." Allah also
marry such of you as are solitary and the pious of your slaves and
maid-servants. And marry such of you as are solitary and the
pious of your slaves and maid-servants. If they be poor, Allah will
enrich them of His bounty. Allah is of ample means, Aware. Allah
is of ample means, Aware. “24:32 ا
However, Islam doesn't give any
credence to the partner's economical side simply because money doesn't
make a man' it doesn't form one's human values; it is man who makes
money that is why the presence of money is not stable; it easily goes.
Allah says: "
If they be poor, Allah will enrich them of His bounty. Allah is of
ample means, Aware.
in fact, a person might be poor but rich in his values, love, and
What do you advise a
woman who is asked to choose between either staying single or choosing
a person who doesn't posses the Islamic qualities?
If the proposed person in an
ordinary person who doesn't affect negatively her beliefs and doesn't
bring troubles to her life, then I prefer the state of marriage to the
state of staying single.
Woman and her
invasion to the fields of arts and media
The Observance to the moral limits:
-If woman's work
outside her house has been legally issued, is her work in the fields
of art and media which is mixed with men, permitted?
In principle, such kinds of jobs are
not prohibited. Woman's entrance to the world of cinema and theatre is
Islamically legalized provided that the woman herself would observe
her restrictions and keep her moral values as well. Needless to say
that the observance of restrictions and moral values are also,
required on the behalf of men. Both men and woman have the same rights
and are thus subjected to the same laws and restrictions.
If there is any objection towards
the woman's job in the cinema, it might be due to the lack of the
Islamic cinemas and theaters nothing more. In the same manner, if the
Islamic benefit requires the development of such fields so that we
could limit the impact of the western culture and tradition on our
Muslim people and so that the theatre and the cinema could guide and
instruct to the right path of Islam, than woman's work becomes a must.