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WomenFamily > The Muslim family in Western society:
Confronting the challenges
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The Muslim family in Western society:
Confronting the challenges
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In Islamic legislation, the family occupies the
position of the first social cell that of the human incubator, and is
distinguished by the warm emotional element that draws the person to
his spouse, children, father, mother and brothers. This becomes a
means to build a humanistic personality on a foundation of spiritual
kindness, which nurtures the person, filling his mind heart with
security, through the type of interaction that makes one spirit open
to another. He should feel this emotional atmosphere overwhelming and
surrounding him, in a humanistic way in which he experiences all its
psychological, spiritual and intellectual details without any burden
to his self or harm to his childhood, for it should make him breathe
this (atmosphere) through his feeling as a matter of course, without
it being imposed upon him.
Responsibility of care for the family
In light of this, the
Islamic responsibility of care for the family proceeds from a
foundation of intellectual and psychological planning, which achieves
for its members the opening up to Islamic concepts as a way of
thinking and feeling and a way of life. Thus, the person will start
his movement from an Islamic base, upon which stands his mental,
emotional and dynamic building, this enables the Muslims who- from
childhood -has to face an opposing reality with strength and firmness,
to avoid becoming a feather in the wind or a piece of wood adrift in
the current. This is what pushes an Islamic generation into the public
arena, in which beliefs, steps and tendencies differ, to take its
position on a basis of balance that protects it from all violent
disturbances in an atmosphere of challenge?
The essential matter to
address, as far as responsibility in the family is concerned, is the
upbringing of the individual within it, and how to make him a person
of God in his service to Him, his loyalty to Him and his relationship
with Him through his belief, practice and feelings, through which he
may experience the meaning of loving Allah and fearing Him. In this
way, he will find his opportunity to acquire His satisfaction, to
enter His Holy arena and to avoid the places of His wrath and Fire.
This is what the gracious verse emphasizes:
"O Believers,
guard your selves and your family against a Fire fuelled with men and
stones, under the charge of fierce and mighty angels who never disobey
Allah's command and how promptly do His bidding."
66:6. We notice, in this verse, that Allah, the most Exalted, stirs
the emotional side so as to proceed in planning, to achieve the
internal and external preventive measures that prevent one from
falling into the great Fire that is cruel in its nature and in those
who are put in charge of it. It is exactly as if the father, husband
or mother, in this life, is in a position where the other person -wife
or child - is in danger of burning in fire: He stirs the depths of
anxiety to make them do something to rescue them from an inescapable
fate.
On the other hand, we
find the other verse:
"Gardens of Eden; they shall enter there,
as well as the righteous among their father, their spouses and their
offspring, and angels shall enter unto them fro every gate. "Peace
unto you foe all that you have steadfastly endured, now how excellent
is the (your) final home." 13:23,24.
This
shows that familial atmosphere in Paradise, where the pious among
fathers, wives and offspring meet once again in the place of God's
satisfaction, because of their piety -in this life- in belief and
practice and the fact that they stayed on the right path in the line
of Oneness of God and obedience to Him.
The Quran present these
two pictures to people to stir resolve within them, and so they
abandon the first picture for the second, reaching the happy ending
that any person wants for himself and his family. This makes the
matter one that concerns fate, and not a temporary situation that
comes into his life every now and then.
In light of this, the
matter requires collective effort, in addition to individual effort,
so as to prepare the right atmospheres and conditions - which
represent the environment in which the family can grow and archive for
its individuals the guarantee of self-defense against deviation and
succumbing. This can be achieved through preparation of different
means, such as schools, 'incubators' and various programs that fill
the soul with its needs in education, innocent leisure and spiritual
development, all of which provide the individual with the necessary
conditions for a normal life.
Responsibility for solidarity
The responsibility,
perhaps, falls not only on families in their familial or local
communities, but also on all those active in the Islamic field, the
Islamic Grand Authorities, active movements and intellectual groups
-thinkers, callers and conveyors, who move dynamically towards the
integration of their endeavors, who move dynamically towards the
integration of their endeavors to find the wise plan needed for an
Islamic generation that is open to Islam and our era, making it an
effective force in contemporary Islam's lift off towards the world.
The issue is not one of those issues that relate to the individual
side, that of fathers and mothers with their children - everyone in
his own family - but, rather, it relates to the new Islamic
generation, in its general aspirations, and its open arena, and in
dynamic struggle with the Islamic and intellectual challenges that it
faces.
And if the responsibility
is big and embraces the social reality inside the Islamic countries,
it is even stronger in infidel countries, when Muslims are forced to
emigrate and reside in them. Here they may encounter a reality that
does not represent a land, in which they can put down roots, and
environment, which they cannot open up to, and a world in which they
feel foreign - through its concepts, habits and traditions that are
different to the ideas, habits and traditions, which they have
inherited.
The problem of the young generation
If adults have started
(their life in places of emigration) with deep roots of Islamic
affiliations, in theory and practice, the younger generation will not
necessarily have inherited these elements, since what it possesses may
represent nothing beyond some passing words and foggy concepts which
do not touch their true depth - even if they have touched some of
their behavior. The danger may lie in the Western school in which
Muslim children are educated, where they breathe in the atmosphere of
the West in all its emotions, conditions and aspirations, as if they
were something natural to move around in, exactly like the natural
aspects of their fellow pupils in play -grounds and classes. They may
find it strange to hear the negative remarks of their fathers and
mothers, as if these are outside the norm. They may confront the
matter with increasing and unspoken rejection, which looks like a
complex from the stance of the family. They will start to embody the
bitter adolescent query: why do they prohibit us from dancing with out
friends, or from swimming in mixed swimming pools, or from enjoying
free and warm relationships etc?
The difficult problem, in
this situation, is that the new young generation does not have a
sufficiently deep or clear conception of its personality to protect
itself from the influences that move in the atmosphere into which is
was thrown and the arena in which it was placed. What is its
understanding of God, and His relationship with man, and man's
position before Him? What is its understanding of personal freedom?
What about morals in all of this?
Some teaching may get
through with recognition, but some things may create contradictions
within it, leaving it in a state of deep puzzlement between its past
that it has learnt from the family and the new that it has learnt from
the school or the surrounding environment. It may not be able to
confront the situation in a balanced way that permits answers to its
puzzling questions, with the result that it becomes shattered
psychologically, if not consciously.
A suggestion for a remedial plan
With children who have
been implanted in a land that is not their own, their growth will be
separated from the natural elements that provide them with the natural
process of growing. This makes it essential that the remedy comes
within the framework of a thoughtful, realistic plan, along the
following lines:
1- Proceeding from the
narrated word of Imam Ali (as): "Do not (try to) give your children
your morals, for they have been created for a time other than yours",
we may extrapolate from this by changing the idea of a change in place
to a change in time. This is justified, because the concept is not
based on time in its absolute sense, but rather it means -in its
intellectual implications -that dynamic morals are subject to
different circumstances, for they may change according to their
dynamic peculiarities, as we notice in the differences in morals
regarding behavior in social etiquette, in food and drink, dress,
different ways of expression, social dynamics, patterns of leisure
etc; place may have a role in the differences between societies,
habits and traditions, time may have a role as well.
Therefore, we must study
the reality in which children in the West live in order to make a
comparison between the unchangeable morals which stretch across time
and place -on the basis that they are man's morals as defined by his
humanity, which represents truth that goes beyond time and place - and
the changeable morals that are not related to the value but to
circumstances, reality and the conditions surrounding a person. This
enables us to observe the former and to plan to organize and guide
their movement in the latter, for the problem is that fathers and
mothers strive to make their children into an image (carbon copy) of
themselves, without studying the circumstances that molded their image
in its intellectual and practical dimensions, not with regard in its
intellectual and practical dimensions, nor with regard to the new
circumstances that may impose another image through new dimensions.
In a lot of situations
people, including religious Muslims, may confuse what is tradition
with what is religious adherence, and the result is confusion
regarding moral concepts, deriving from a lack of religious Islamic
awareness of the original Islamic morals on intellectual basis, which
opens up to the behavioral dynamics.
We are not calling for a
moral and intellectual coup d'etat, but for re-looking at moral lines,
including Islamic lines regarding rulings (fatwas) that prohibit
Muslims from every leisure even if it is innocent, such as a ruling
that prohibits clapping in a certain way, or any kind of leisure
except what is proved to have been allowed. This has created the basis
for the prohibition of leisure, with some as exceptions. This may make
a person think that there is a mentality which regards joy, in its
deep movement within the self, as not recommended Islamically, and
that (according to this mentality) a person must embody the sad
feelings that link him with death, whilst he is in the heart of life!
When pointing to such a
jurisprudence mentality in regarding man's behavior, we do not want to
talk in a negative way that rejects such an approach outright, for the
matter must be subjected, in rejecting or accepting, to specialist
research where the Islamic jurists have differed in their results.
Rather, we want to point out that some jurisprudence opinions, in
allowing and forbidding, may be subject to environmental influences
which this or that Islamic jurist experienced, and these may be
reflected in their understanding of the (sacred) text or the Islamic
pillars in the minds of religious people, or not.
As we said, we do not
want to abandon the jurisprudence way simply because there is a new
reality to which we must open up, or that there is an intellectual
development which we must face, but we want to study the reality
according to its Islamic legal categories, through an objective
formulation of rulings (ijtihad) that is open to the general Quranic
lines regarding details in specific rulings, in both public and
private lives.
2- It is essential to
open modern scientific schools in which the new generation - in its
initial stages of education -breathe Islam's spiritual, moral and
social atmospheres. This will contribute greatly in protecting young
Muslims from elements of spiritual and moral deviation and intense
psychological complexities. We might perhaps emphasize that the school
project in the West is more important than the mosque or Husainiyyah,
not the Opposite. And perhaps executing this project is what can make
it allowable for Muslims to stay in these countries, since negative
results reflected in the new generation from the Islamic point of view
may lead to making emigration out of these countries obligatory, for
it is not allowed to stay in countries where a person's, or his
family's, religion may weaken.
3- Opening sports, social
and youth clubs for the young Muslim generation (is important), so
that they find a natural release from the psychological suffocation
and daily tiredness that come from schools or practical obligations.
Also, starting dialogue forums for the Muslim youth (is useful), in a
style through which we can discover their ideas, learn their views
about the vital elements in belief and behavior, and to see the new
concepts and feelings that they have acquired -all this to try to open
up to this generation from within, to correct what has become corrupt
and straighten out what has become deviant, in a way in which they do
not feel the psychological pressure that may can create opposite
reaction, especially if accompanied by physical pressure.
4- (It is also important
to) prepare worship atmospheres that are open to the dynamic elements
in religious and spiritual matters, and to abandon boring routines in
the practice of worship, in order to encourage the desire in the young
to go to theses places and partake in the spirituality of prayer and
the dynamics of supplication.
5- (It is also important
to) prepare religious social atmospheres by stirring Islamic memories,
and trying to refresh their styles and methods with what fits in with
the different mentalities of youth.
This is to make them (the
youth) open up to these memories on a level in which they feel strong
and in close relationship with the historic personalities involved and
the events in question, and through planning, to provide a bright
picture which makes them store, within their consciousness, its
spiritual features, moral elements and secrets about humanistic
greatness.
We are(currently) raising
some general ideas with regard to initiating some experiments that are
appropriate to the new reality, so that more ideas may be forthcoming
and a lot more experiments are engaged in, and so that a comparative
study may, in the end, achieve the integration needed to deal with
this difficult problem.
We believe that the
responsibility of staying in the West imposes on us the responsibility
of preparing all means to preserve our Islamic identity, original
moral values and Islamic adherence, so that we do not lose ourselves
under the influence of deviant atmosphere, and do not lose our
children through an -un-Islamic upbringing.
Perhaps we cannot reach
perfection in what is required; we have to accept this and use it to
encourage experiments in the process of cooperation and integration,
until we arrive at the better reality.
The Muslim family in the
West, as in any infidel country, is living with one of the most
difficult problems, and our greatest responsibility is to work towards
finding suitable solutions, especially since our great ambition is to
proceed with the Islamic Message to guide the world to Islam.
Therefore, we must not lose ourselves and our families whilst trying
to bring benefit to others!
PART II |